"...life's a beach...

i’m just playin’ in the sand..."

currently listening to:
lil wayne :: right above it

weezy just ALWAYS does it for me! everytime. i'm so in love with life's unexpected surprises. it's SO true that when one door closes another one opens. the good that came out of the bad situation was revealed to me this weekend. i had THE BEST halloween/weekend in new orleans. the ONLY thing that could've made it better would've been if we could've gone to the saints game. i'm officially in love with that city. i could never live there, but i adored my visit. if i had still been in a relay i know that i wouldn't have gone and i would've TRULY missed out...on an amazing trip with amazing people. i really should be very thankful for being broken up with. being out of the situation now i can see where it wasn't truly for me. it's just always harder to see when you're IN it. that's life though...it just makes the idea of the end result that much more exciting. i deserve someone that KNOWS what they have because i know my self-worth. that's not a cocky statement, but it's true. i know what i have to offer someone.

why my mother is A-M-A-Z-I-N-G:

I want the happiness of my children more than anything. I would like you to finish your B.S., marry the man of your dreams, and have your three-four beautiful children. I still believe in happily ever after. Life is never seamless - without problems - BUT you can live it with someone you love madly who loves you just as madly. I want you to achieve all your dreams - I really do - I just hope they don't take you too far away from me. I love you unconditionally and forever.

mama

i want this one day:

"...it's what you do and say that makes you who you are..."

currently listening to:

natasha bedingfield :: strip me


the perfect way to start my week off (even though i think of sunday as the last day of the week): blueberry pancakes, new postsecrets, & church. it really is amazing to me how God delivers a message that is perfect for you at that moment in your life, and it's something that you really needed to hear. a couple of things that really spoke to me today: "just because everything looks great in your life doesn't mean that you're in the will of God." "we serve a Lord of second chances."
i always try my very best to find the good in any bad situation. i've really struggled lately trying to find the good and i still can't seem to see what that is, but i know that one day it will be revealed to me. i love how true such a simple phrase like, "it'll be okay." can be. it is though. it ALWAYS is or will be. in the moment it's just hard to believe it. what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and my new thing is putting any frustration into working out and running and pushing myself to the limit. it's so freeing. i cannot believe that i'm actually going to be something attractive this year for halloween. i am officially all about the spray tan...now that i've figured out how to keep my hands from looking like i've been playing in mud. so what if it's jersey shore-esque. at least i won't look like a dried up prune later in life. i prefer my oatmeal to be pourage-style vs thick. i seriously DO NOT understand people that don't smile. it's SO terribly unattractive and just lame.

makes me happy:

yoplail's light lemon meringue yogurt.

the office.

flannel pajamas.
i really want these:
[i'm not delusional enough to think that i could make flannel look sexy like that...haha]

"...this is how we live, every single night..."

currently listening to:
far east movement :: like a g6

the one and ONLY perk to a breakup: absolutely NO appetite. :)

things that have made me happy lately:

running.
[at sunset when it's breezy]
lil wayne.
[blaring through my headphones]
my friends.
[they never cease to amaze me with how wonderful they are]
fall weather.
[and the clothes that go along with this season]

hello lovers...
i'm lusting over you all...

"...beat goes on..."

currently listening to:
m.i.a :: come around

this is so true and comforting:

"When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you but merely opening your hands to receive something better."

i'm tired of letting my guard down enough to give it my all to end up being hurt
but...
i know it's part of the process.
and i really believe you have to do that to have no regrets.
i'd rather be hurt knowing that i gave it my all than wish i had opened up more and have regrets.

"...we won't stop until it's over..."

recently played:

temper trap :: sweet disposition
sia :: i'm in here
mumford & sons :: white blank page

"...even if it feels like the shock is coming over and over again...eventually the pain will go away. the shock will wear off, and you start to heal yourself from something that you never saw coming..."

sometimes God takes good things away. it's always been hard for me to understood why, but i know that He does it for a reason. it's all a part of His plan, and that's something that is bigger than me...bigger than my comprehension. the saying, "if it's meant to be it will be. if it's not...it won't." is so cliché, but i've always believed in it and still do. i try my very best to live my life with no regrets, and to not hold back. i can honestly say that i'm very pleased with this approach that i take. it's really the only way to live life (i think anyway).
and i still appreciate honesty...
raw honesty...
even when it hurts.
i forgot how good it feels to just release my thoughts and feelings on here. :)

"...you and i will be young forever..."

recently played:

katy perry :: teenage dream
phoenix :: countdown
florence + the machine :: cosmic love

i hope that someday someone will think this [ <- click on] about me.

i am also hopeful of this:

"...and then a kiss...maybe another...and another one..."

currently listening to:
imogen heap :: between sheets

it's funny...because i consider myself to be an optimistic person, but lately i've been looking at things from a glass half-empty perspective. it's hard sometimes to be hopeful. i keep waiting for the bottom to drop out. you know...when things are just too good to be true. makes you wonder how long it will last. i'm happy. really happy. a lot of areas in my life are changing right now, and it's exciting and scary all at the same time.
God's timing makes me smirk. He's been testing my patience in certain areas of my life. one area in particular was tested during wedding palooza 2010. my mother constantly told me to continue to be patient...that God was taking His time picking the perfect one for me. (she is so good to me.) it was never about the marriages, but seeing that love constantly reminded me that i didn't have that in my life.
i've always told myself that the things that are truly worth having and experiencing in life require you to dive in head first not knowing what will happen next. the unknown is the part that's so incredibly exciting and so scary. but that's the thing...you'll never know if you hold back.
i don't know what's going to happen, but i will say that i'm the happiest that i've been in a long time.
i'm just going to enjoy everything and live in the moment.